For Yourself
by TR-Fanfic
Summary: Mac refuses to let history repeat itself. Complete


Disclaimer: I don't own Jag, nor do I get money for this story based on some of it's characters.

Summary: This story is my first attempt at a song fic. Chloe has some trouble come her way, and Mac is determined to help her before history repeats itself. This story is set in Chloe's Junior year of high school. Whenever that would be. And Harm and Mac are already married, but have no children of their own as yet. This is primarily a Chloe and Mac piece, but there are definite shipper moments in the story.

P.S. I'll give 5 (faux) cyber bucks to anyone who can accurately identify the book that Mac is reading in the second paragraph.

Honest Feedback is always appreciated.

For Yourself

By TR

Mac sat on the couch with her feet up on the cushions, ankles crossed. Her brow furrowed slightly in concentration as she focused on the events of the story she was reading. Occasionally, without taking her eyes off of the pages, she would reach over onto the end table and take a sip from her coffee mug.

She had sent Harm to bed 3 hours and 32 minutes earlier. After she had found him snoring on the floor in front of the fireplace. If he wasn't already suffering from Jet lag she would have laid down with him in front of those flames and done anything but sleep. But there would be time for that later. Right now she needed to find out if Mindy's friend Ursula was going to wake up from her coma. Mac looked up, mid-page turn, as she heard a frantic knock at the door. She quickly set the book on the table and jumped up from the couch.

The sight before her made her stomach sick. Chloe stood in her door way in a torn and tattered formal gown, with blood shot eyes, a split lip, various bruises and lacerations peppering her face, and a gash above her right eye causing it to nearly swell shut.

"Chloe? What happened?" Mac asked in shock and concern, as she took her sister's hand and pulled her into the house.

"Nate beat me up," She said, wiping frustrated tears from her eyes, and then wincing as her hand grazed her wounds.

"What?" Mac exclaimed. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know Mac, I didn't see it coming. It was prom tonight and when he came to pick me up he was very sweet. We were having a great time together dancing, you know. Then some of the guys spiked the punch. Nate got drunk, and I told him that I didn't want to ride in the car with him when he's like that. I mean, damn Mac, he couldn't even stand up straight. Anyway, he grabbed my arm when I told him I was getting a ride with some other friends, and when I tried to pull away he gave me this." Chloe pointed to her right eye.

Mac's jaw clenched in rage, as she led Chloe into the kitchen and started to prepare an ice pack . She was going to kill that little bastard!

"Then what happened, you have to tell me everything."

"I was just in shock. So was he I guess. Cause he just stood there for a second and watched me cry. At first I thought he was going to apologize but then he got this sickening look on his face." She paused, shuddering. "It really scared me Mac. So I tried to turn and run. He knocked me over and I hit my face on the pavement, then he turned me over and backhanded me in the mouth. And then he just stopped. It was weird Mac, like it suddenly dawned on him what he was doing. And he started crying, and leaned down and hugged me, and told me he was sorry. He'd just had too much to drink, and he'll never do it again."

Mac pursed her lips. "That's typical," She said not bothering to mask her anger. "Then what happened?"

"I told him it was ok, and he helped me up. And then I said that I still didn't want to ride in the car with him, so he called a cab for me on his cell phone, but instead of going home I had the cab driver take me to the airport. I'm glad I remembered to bring my credit card with me. I bought a ticket and well, here I am."

Mac tried to smile. "I'm glad you came to me Chloe. But what about your dad, he needs to know what's going on."

"He's out of town. I was on my own for the week anyway. Hey listen Mac, can I at least have something else to wear, I didn't bring anything with me."

"Not yet, we need to get pictures of you in your dress, so your full condition is evident when we prosecute."

Chloe's eyes went wide. "NO Mac!"

"What do you mean 'no'. He is guilty of assault. Against MY sister. There's no way he's going to get away with this!" Mac said vehemently.

"No I don't want to press charges."

"Why not?"

"Because I care about him." Chloe said in resignation. "He's never done anything like this before. He said he was sorry and I believe him. But even if he wasn't, he could be looking at prison time here. It would ruin his whole life. I can't take that kind of responsibility."

"If that's how you feel about it, why aren't you still there with him?" Mac asked as if in cross-examination.

"Because I want to wait a few days. I can't be around him right now. He needs to sober up, and I need to let the pain dull a little."

"Will you listen to yourself?" Mac exclaimed. "He hurt you. He BEAT you. And you still want to be with him? And by the way, you are not responsible for his actions. He is the one who decided to raise a hand to you. And he has to bear the consequences of that decision. You have no call to feel any guilt over his punishment."

"Mac, people hurt each other all time. That's what people do in relationships, they fight and they hurt each other, and then they make up. Haven't you and Harm ever done that?"

"Of course we have. But we've never hurt each other physically, and never on purpose."

"Well Nate was drunk. If he can keep from drinking than we will be ok. I just don't know if I want to go as far as pressing charges right now."

"I'll tell you what," Mac said trying to sound as if she was compromising. "Why don't we take the pictures, and then you can decide later if we need to use them. If we do, they'll be invaluable to have. If you decide against it, we don't have to keep them."

Chloe shifted nervously. She knew Mac was right, it would be wise to have them, just in case she was wrong about Nate. "Okay."

Mac nodded. "Here put this on your eye, I'll be right back," She said, stopping briefly to put a comforting hand on Chloe's shoulder, and then continuing into her bedroom. Chloe tried to smile, and then winced as the cold of the pack hit her swollen wounds.

"Mac? What's going on?" She heard Harm's raspy voice through the darkness of the room. He sat up a little straighter when he saw her turn the light on in the closet and get her camera from the shelf.

"It's Chloe," Mac replied simply.

"What happened?" Harm said immediately. Now fully awake, and sitting on the side of the bed.

Mac took a deep breath. "Calm down and get dressed. You don't need to add to the stress in there."

Harm nodded, and said in a calmer voice. "What happened?"

"Nate beat her up," Mac said evenly. Fire flashing from her eyes. Harm imagined it matched fire that was flashing from his.

Harm's jaw clenched. "How bad?"

"Not irreparable. But be prepared, it's not pretty. I better get back out there."

Harm nodded and went to get some clothes on. When he emerged from the room, he stifled a gasp at the condition of Chloe's face. Who could beat a beautiful young girl like that? Harm shook his head slightly, and stayed back a bit, not wanting to embarrass Chloe as Mac took as many pictures of her injuries as she could possibly get in before Chloe changed her mind.

"Alright Chloe, I think that will do it. Unless you have other injuries that you haven't told me about."

"No, I've told you about everything."

Mac nodded. And switched gears, trying to give Chloe time to recover mentally. "Are you hungry?" She asked. Gently stroking a hair away from Chloe's forehead.

Chloe nodded. "A little. We were going to head out to a restaurant when all of this happened."

Harm stepped forward out of the shadows and placed his hand lightly on Chloe's back. Stroking her gently in an effort to comfort her. "I'll get started on something for you to eat, while you get out of those clothes."

Chloe nodded, and smiled a thank you. Harm walked into the kitchen to get started, while Mac and Chloe headed toward the bedroom.

20 minutes later Chloe came out of their bedroom and was greeted by a familiar scent. "Smells great." She said, as she sat down on one of the bar stools.

Harm looked up and smiled, noting that Chloe was wearing Mac's Marine Sweats, and was freshly showered. "Smoked Salmon and Cheese Omelet."

Chloe smiled, "my favorite."

"I know," He replied as he set the plate down in front of her, along with a glass of Orange juice.

Mac walked over and sat on a stool next to Chloe, and wondered what was the next step to take to break Chloe's resistance. They had spoken briefly about trivial things. Trying to keep Chloe's mind from drifting too close to the situation at hand, but all too soon the conversation had dried up. Harm shifted slightly, as he watched Chloe push the last few bites around on her plate, and then jumped as he heard the clang of Chloe forcefully dropping her fork down on the stoneware.

Clenching her fists she said, "I can't stand this! I can't think anymore. I don't want to think anymore!" Her voice rose, as tears streamed down her face, stinging the cuts on her skin.

Mac took Chloe in her arms. "I know it sweetheart. Why don't you get some sleep, we'll deal with all of this in the morning."

Chloe buried her face in Mac's shoulder. "Why do I still love him Mac? How can I love him even after he did this to me?" She collapsed into sobs, as she whispered, "I don't want to love him anymore."

Harm watched the scene before him with growing rage. That little weenie boy was going to pay!

"Come on," Mac whispered to Chloe, handing her a Kleenex. "Let's get you in bed. Everything will be better after you've gotten some sleep."

Chloe nodded, and Mac glanced over at Harm who immediately acknowledged her silent request as he walked over to the couch and began to remove the cushions to pull out the hide away bed.

A few minutes later Harm leaned over and kissed Chloe on the forehead when she was all settled in.

"Thanks Harm," Chloe whispered.

Harm smiled. "You're welcome Chloe. I have to take care of my girls," He said with a wink, and headed to bed.

When Harm stepped into his room he saw Mac sitting on top of the covers with her knees drawn up. He hesitated for a moment, then sat down next to her and silently waited.

"I refuse to allow her to become my mother," Mac said emphatically.

Harm nodded.

"I never thought I would have to deal with this again." She said quietly.

"I know, but this time is different," He replied.

Mac nodded, "yes it is. I can prevent it this time. And I'll be damned if I'm not going to protect Chloe from this..this crumbling of self esteem." Mac shook her head in incredulity. "You know Harm, I never understood why my mother stayed with my father as long as she did until now. I see that poor young girl out there. Riddled with guilt over what might happen to that little bastard that beat her if she turns him in. Like she is responsible." Mac's eyes squinted marginally as her voice gained intensity. "They actually believe that they aren't worth enough to make all of that fuss over. It's incredible. After all, 'all he did was beat little old worthless me, why should he have to pay such a high consequences?'" Mac shook her head once more. "It makes me sick Harm."

He reached out and took her hand. "Me too baby."

Mac squeezed his hand, drawing and giving support. "How do I get my Chloe back Harm? How do I make her see what she's worth?"

He shook his head, "I don't know Mac. All the women I have ever known have been strong enough to take me down. This one is all new to me. But I'll do whatever I can to help you."

Mac raised her head and met his eyes. Smiling a thank you, she leaned over and kissed him softly. Loving the gentleness of his kiss, and how it reminded her, that real men take care of the women they love. Not a second after they broke their kiss, a crashing sound was heard from outside the door. Mac bounded off of the bed and headed to the kitchen in time to see Chloe leaning over the sink trying to clean up the shards of shattered glass. Mac noticed a pill container in one of her hands.

"Chloe? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just dropped this glass in the sink when I went to get a drink of water."

Mac gestured toward the bottle in her hand. "Are you taking medication?"

Chloe looked startled for a second, and then nodded. "Just something to help me sleep." She dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'm sick of thinking."

Mac nodded, "What are you taking?"

"Valium."

"Chloe! Where did you get that?"

"From a friend of mine at school. It helps me sleep when I have too many things on my mind."

"And does that happen often?"

Chloe nodded. Mac held out her hand and she reluctantly handed the pill container over to her.

"You know better than to have a controlled substance in my house without a prescription." Mac said gently. "Under the circumstances I'll forego the lecture, but I trust that this won't happen again?"

Chloe nodded.

"Good," Mac said, and set the pills down on the counter. "Come on, let's get this cleaned up and you can try to get some sleep."

"I can't sleep Mac! I can't. If I sleep, I'll dream."

"I'll stay up with you until you go to sleep. We can talk things out, or not talk at all. Whatever you'd like to do."

"Thanks Mac."

30 minutes later Mac sat on the hide-a-bed watching Chloe pace back and forth. For the moment she was in angry mode.

"He told me he loved me, Mac. He said that he loved ME! Does this look like love to you?"

"No Chloe it doesn't."

"He really looked like he was sorry. I just don't know what to do. Sometimes people snap, don't they Mac? I think he just snapped. Don't you see people that snap all the time? You're a lawyer."

"Yes I do Chloe, and the people I see who 'just snap' get put behind bars."

"Mac! That would ruin his whole life! I can't take that kind of responsibility! I hate what he did to me..." She tearfully added, "It breaks my heart. But I don't think it should turn his life upside down. He's never done this before. Doesn't he deserve a chance to make it right?"

"Making it right doesn't mean getting away with it. He has to bear the consequences of his actions."

Chloe sat down next to Mac and put her head in her hands. "I just don't know what to do," She said, defeated, and then looked up. "What do you do when you need to work things out Mac?"

Mac put her arm around Chloe's shoulders and said simply, "I sing."

Chloe's brow furrowed faintly. "What do you mean you sing? You just, sing?"

Mac chuckled, "well there's a little more to it than that. Actually, when I really have to work things out in my mind I go down to The Chicago Blues Club. They have open mike every night after 10. I go down there, and sing."

"In front of every one?" Chloe asked surprised. "I could never do that."

Mac shrugged. "It's a good place to escape for a while. And I don't sing any worse than anyone else there." She said, teasingly elbowing Chloe.

"Mac! You know that's not what I meant. I think you have a great voice."

Mac held up a hand and chuckled. "I know what you meant Chloe. Listen, I'll take you with me tomorrow night and we can work this all out together."

Chloe's eyes grew wide. "I can't go anywhere looking like this Mac! Besides, they wouldn't let me in I'm under aged."

Mac gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "Believe me Chloe, they've seen worse. And I'd really like you to come with me. It'll be ok. They don't serve alcohol where the stage is, so there won't be any problem getting you in."

"I don't sing very well Mac. At least not without a radio blaring in my ear."

"Don't worry about that Chloe, I'll sing. You can just hang out."

"Okay," Chloe said, stifling a yawn. Mac stood up and gestured for Chloe to lie down. "Will you sleep in here with me Mac?"

Mac gave a reassuring smile, "Sure."

Harm woke up and looked at the clock, 0400. He glanced at Mac's side of the bed and confirmed that she was still with Chloe. He quietly rose and walked out into the living room. Harm stared at the beautiful sleeping women in front of him. Simultaneously he vowed to thank Mac once again for being in his life, and revenge against the monster who abused Chloe. Smiling he pulled the covers over his girls, and tucked them in tight. Placed kisses on their respective foreheads, and turned out the lights.

2200 The Following Night.

"Chloe? You about ready to go?" Mac called from the living room where she sat on the couch putting on her shoes.

"I'll be right out Mac. I'm just trying to get some make-up on." Chloe called back.

Mac sighed; she knew what Chloe was trying to do. Rising, she walked in the bathroom. "You're not going to be able to cover all of it up Chloe. When I went through my Marine training they taught us to own up to the reality of our situation and deal with it," Mac said gently. "This is the reality of your situation Chloe. You have two options, you can let it control you. Or you can take control, and deal with it."

Mac saw Chloe's back straighten, and her stubbornness slide into place. Looking at Mac through the mirror, she said, "Let's go."

Mac smiled and nodded. "Harm we're heading out now." She called to him as they were walking out the door. He stood up from his desk and file he was reading and walked over to them.

"You two be careful," He said, before wrapping his arms around Mac, and giving her a kiss that made Chloe thoroughly blush. When he pulled away he brushed his hand slightly on Mac's cheek. Mac smiled, knowing he was being more openly tender for Chloe's benefit. So she could see how men are supposed to be. Leave it to Harm. The master of subtlety when it came to showing his heart. Mac hoped that Chloe would get the idea.

"We will," Mac replied, patting him lightly on the six before she and Chloe walked out the door.

The Chicago Blues Club Downtown Washington DC

Chloe walked into the smoky room and timidly followed Mac to her regular table.

"Mac!" Chloe heard a deep voice call out to her sister. Together Mac and Chloe turned.

"Hey Mo," Mac said to the large black man walking toward her. "This is my sister Chloe."

Mo looked at Chloe and gave no obvious indication that he noticed her injuries in the least. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Chloe," Mo said, kissing her on her least damaged cheek.

"Likewise," Chloe responded shyly.

Turning back to Mac, Mo made an almost imperceptible nod toward Chloe. "You need any backup?" He asked quietly.

"No," Mac replied. "I think we've got it covered."

Mo nodded to Mac and then spoke in full voice. "So you going to sing for us tonight?"

"I think I could come up with something," She replied casually. "If you can fit me into the show."

"With that voice, we can always fit you in." He laughed and patted Mac on the shoulder before he walked away from the table.

Mac looked over at Chloe. She was still looking around nervously. Trying to hide her bruised face. She hoped that Chloe would be able to relax once the main part of the open mike show started.

Mac's wish came true about an hour later. After a few really soulful numbers, and a few really rockin' ones that had the crowd up out of their seats, she saw that Chloe had relaxed and all but forgotten about her appearance. She turned and made eye contact with Mo and he nodded. Then turning to Chloe she said, "I guess it's my turn. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"I'll be okay here. Go ahead, I can't wait to hear you sing."

Mac smiled and made her way down to the stage. She conversed with the band for a moment. Each one of them nodding their heads in understanding then she adjusted the microphone, and positioned herself on the tall stool.

"This is for you Chloe," She said into the microphone before the band began to play the bluesy chords of the song. Mac held eye contact with Chloe as she began to sing the lyrics in a clear and sultry voice.

Do you like the way it feels when you get hurt

Maybe you should take a long hard look at your self worth.

There's emptiness inside it started many years ago.

You always try to fill it up It's a familiar place you go

I wonder when you will Just Wake up Girl

You know you've got a lot to learn You've got to do it for yourself

Find your own direction Don't rely on someone else

You've got to know it in your heart You've got to build it up with love It isn't hard to rise above

Wake up You don't want to wake up You've got to do it for yourself

I know it feels sometimes that loneliness is worse

And with every change there comes a Melancholy surge

You can walk away from this It doesn't have to bring you down

Have faith in Destiny You know what goes around comes around

You don't have to stay and take it Girl

You know you've got a lot to learn You've got to do it for yourself Find your own direction Don't rely on someone else

You've got to know it in your heart You've got to build it up with love It isn't hard to rise above

Wake up You don't want to wake up You've got to do it for yourself

Got nowhere to run Got nowhere to hide

These changes will come if you'll just open your eyes Got nowhere to run Got nowhere to hide

Oh, You've got to do it for yourself

You've got to know it in your heart It isn't hard to rise above.

As the band played the final chords of the song, the crowd wildly applauded. And Mac noticed Chloe wiping a tear from her cheek. She made her way from the stage and back to Chloe, wrapping her arms around her.

"You can do this Chloe," Mac said, noticing that Chloe was trembling. When she pulled back she saw anger in her sister's eyes.

"I want to press charges," Chloe said through a clenched jaw.

Mac smiled and nodded, and pulled out her cell phone. "Harm. We're a go," She said into the receiver. She heard his brief, "affirmative," and then snapped it closed. Mac gauged Chloe's reaction, and was pleased to see that her sister looked like a weight had been taken from her shoulders.

"Do you want to stay and watch the rest of the show, or would you rather go?"

"Let's stay," Chloe replied. "I like it here."

Mac smiled an acknowledgement, and hoped that Chloe could keep this kind of resolve throughout the ordeal that lay ahead of her.

Monday Morning 1000 Del Norte County High School

Three men walked into the large assembly hall full of Juniors and Seniors. One man stood waiting in the back, while the other two spotted the young man they were looking for, and made their way to the stage where he was standing addressing the crowd. He stopped his speech abruptly as the two men approached.

"Nathan Wilshmyer?" One of the men asked, speaking very close to the microphone.

"Yes," The nervous young man answered.

"You are under arrest for the assault and battery of Chloe Madison."

The crowd collectively gasped, and began to murmur as Nate was read his rights, and hauled away. The man standing in the back gave Nate a murderous look, as he was pushed by. And then pulled out his cell phone and called his wife.

"Hello," Mac said into the phone.

"We've got him."

"Understood," She replied. Hung up the phone and smiled. Chloe would NOT turn into her mother. This time was indeed different.

The End. Good? Bad? Let me know.

P.S. "Girl" is performed by Pat Benetar

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